In Feng Shui, elephants are viewed as objects of luck and good fortune. “Place an elephant at the front door, facing inward, to welcome good luck.” “Place an elephant on your work desk, facing outward, to symbolize intelligent leadership.” In Feng Shui, elephant placement is big.
With that in mind, it’s kind of funny (ironic funny, not haha funny) to speak of the “elephant in the room” as an unfortunate element of many organizational systems–the big issue that most people are aware of, but find it difficult to talk about. These indoor pachyderms can cause quite a bit of damage to the interior of a system–from creating a culture of mistrust to settling into apathy. How, then, can the not-so-graceful presence be gently escorted from the space?
Step One: Acknowledge the elephant. It’s there. You know it. Your colleagues know it. You talk about it. Even if you’re not talking about it, it’s likely that other people are. The awareness brings a sense of honesty and transparency to the room. In acknowledging the elephant, what are your feelings in relation to the elephant? Are you afraid of it? Do you think it’s kind of cute? Do you feel sorry for it? Teasing out your own emotions will help you know how to manage the elephant. What is the fear about? Why have you continued to “feed” the elephant, allowing it to get bigger and bigger?
Step Two: Address the elephant. Addressing the elephant may need to happen in one conversation or in a series of conversations. A sense of calmness, coming from a place of care and concern, is an approach useful in keeping the elephant from becoming enraged (a different metaphor, but think “bull in a china shop”). The elephant doesn’t belong in an enclosed space. I imagine that if the elephant were to be honest, it feels a bit cramped in the space and is ready to move on too.
Step Three: Lead the elephant Away. Above all, help the elephant out of the room without humiliation and embarrassment (see Step Two). The elephant in the room may well be a behavior of a leader/participant/colleague–not the person–in your organization. It’s not necessarily beneficial to remove the elephant AND the room in which it sits. Slaying the elephant in the room will just make a big mess to be cleaned up later. Take good care and think strategically in leading the elephant away.
Several years ago I received a tiny glass elephant as a gift from one of my piano students. Its placement on a windowsill in my home invites any good luck that comes my way. With self-reflection and an open invitation to purposeful feedback, may it be the only elephant that lives in my room.
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