I am occasionally haunted. I imagine all of us are haunted at one time or another . . . not in the traditional sense, of course, but in the sense that a question or a “pondering” sits with you for a while. Are you living out your life’s purpose? Do you find joy in your relationships? For some, those are haunting questions.
The most haunting question for many of my coaching clients is “What is my purpose in my current role?” And to be completely authentic (transparent and ghost-like, if you will), it’s the question that sits with me some days too.
So, what happens when your life’s purpose and your work purpose do not match? For some, self-sabotaging behavior becomes evident. For others, the spirit of Eeyore seems to overtake them. The corporate term for it is “disengagement.” The broader the discrepancies in purpose, the less engaged a person becomes. And from there, it just gets scarier . . . Disengagement shows up on performance reviews. You’re looked over for promotions and opportunities for growth. Someone in management may decide to free up your future . . . and that’s very scary!
Because your mind and body are synchronized, your body tells you when your purposes are mismatched. That feeling of dread you get on Sunday nights, the late Friday afternoon mood change, heart palpitations, sleeping too much . . . there are hundreds of “body” clues.
The 80s had “Ghostbusters” to ward off haunting spirits (and so did 2016, but let’s stick with the 80s version). Guess what though . . . you’ve got, within yourself, your own “haunt-busting” tools. Consider these:
- Personal Strengths and Weaknesses—Knowing these will help you determine how to better match your life purpose with your role purpose.
- Friends and Colleagues—Reach out to trusted friends and colleagues for feedback related to what you do well. Ask them to talk with you about your growing edges or traits that need refining.
- Transferable skills—I believe we are often blind to the transferable skills we hold. Name them. Think of all the ways they could support you in both your life purpose and your role purpose.
- Upgrade your résumé—You’re never too old or ensconced to look at other options. Life is too short to live any part of it without purpose.
- Explore—One of the biggest contributors to disengagement is a lack of curiosity. Be curious. Look into unimaginable options. It’s how Disney got started.
How do you cope with the haunting? Fight or flight? Or maybe it’s more accurate to say it’s “fright” or flight. Be encouraged to journey through the difficult or scary parts of your questioning, moving forward to a well-lit, purposeful place. Life is short . . . way too short to spend it haunted.